How Dumb?

I recently made a mistake on two of our deposit slips (the first time all year). The bank caught the error and evidently Corporate called Dumb Ass while I was out of town and told her the situation. I get this email:

Hey Girlie,

I need for you to get a calculator and start running two tapes for the deposits. I have had two calls from corporate regarding two deposits that were deposited with incorrect amounts on the deposit slips in the bank this month. This causes issues with the bank, Corporate and SMU. From here on out total all checks on one tape and then total the amounts listed on the deposit slip on another tape. I will then verify that all amounts are correct before I sign the deposit slip and we make the bank run. This will help to hopefully stop this issue.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

I called corporate to ask about the issue. Come to find out it wasn't even as big of a deal as she's trying to make it. But who cares because Ms. Dumb Ass NEVER makes mistakes. Now mind you, she’s suppose to check every deposit. That’s why her crusty ass has to sign every slip. So if you were doing your job and stop being so quick to blame me, we would have caught it here before I went to the bank.



So Yesterday afternoon I get this email.


Okay chickie here is my list to go with what you need! I looked this up at Office Depot.

420984 - Rolodex Business card Sleeves - 1
374391 Post it - 2
354089 - Correction Tape - 1 - 2/pk
848598 - Printing Calculator
559104 - Folgers Coffee - 1
114709 Creamer - 2

We also need Kleenex, 1 ream of legal paper, Styrofoam cups (not sure if we have some stashed some where or not but we only have on sleeve left under the counter), regular creamer and the steno pads we use that you found.

Thanks!
Dumb Ass


I respond:

I just placed the order for the office order. We have an account for OfficeMax, so I just looked up the products and placed the order according to their items numbers.
Me

We don't have an office depot account? I thought we did?

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

The Beginning:

I created this blog because I didn't want to taint my other blog with this woman's stupidity and bullshit. The stories you are about to read are unfortunately true only the featured idiot's identity has been change. I want to take this time to thank Ms. Dumb Dumb for giving me the motivation to want to be a better person and want more out of life. I will post a number of events and dumb emails addressed to me from her. I have worked at this “conservative, right wing Bush loving” company for almost a year and a half. I am the only black professional working for my company.

I was first introduced to this company by working as a receptionist temporarily for about two weeks and noticed in the newspaper they were hiring for my current position. I didn't’ really know nor have that much contact with my future boss, so I assumed she was cool. The woman I was replacing quit because Ms. Dumb Ass was a bitch. I had no idea until about 2 to 3 months later. She’s extremely condescending, and it’s extremely annoying because she’s a fucking retard. She actually thinks she’s better than me, mainly because she is white.

This woman is in her early 40s and I must say she hasn’t accomplished much of anything. After eight years of working for this company, she was crowned the title of property manager. And now she truly believes she’s the shit. But the fact of the matter is her working background doesn’t qualify her for any manager role with any of our competitors in the industry. There are a few accreditations and educational requirements they prefer. So I am not sure why the hell she even has her job; when her background consists of: a high school education and ex warehouse and pet store worker.

Why Would You Forwad This to People Through Your Work Email?
You don't know my political background. Besides I don't like BUSH!!

All of us from Texas can easily recognize Cindy Sheehan, the war protestor whose son died in Iraq serving his country in the military. Cindy has not only become the poster child of the anti-war movement, but has quickly grown as one who is bent on tormenting and slandering President Bush as well as trying to cause untold misery at the entrance of the Bush family home in Crawford. The picture is an older one, but the news below is new, or was to me....Citgo Gasoline is owned by Venezuela....the front story on their own company webpage is listed below as well as the website link for you to go to for yourself. The website readily admits it is solely owned by the country of Venezuela. I encourage you to forward to family and friends, boycott Citgo, cut up your Citgo credit cards and cancel anything to do with Citgo. We do not need to spend American dollars to directly support a Communist Dictator...and pray blessings for him and his country and it's people...the repression in Venezuela is unbelievable I am told....because if the Lord blesses them, it will be to move them to a place where He can position them to receive from His hand...which is a good ending to a sad and dangerous regime.
Blessings,
Pat

Venezuela Dictator Vows To Bring Down U.S. Government Venezuela government is sole owner of Citgo gasoline company Venezuela Dictator Hugo Chavez has vowed to bring down the U.S. government.

Chavez, president of Venezuela, told a TV audience : "Enough of imperialist aggression; we must tell the world: down with the U.S. empire. We have to bury imperialism this century." The guest on his television program, beamed across Venezuela, was Cindy Sheehan, the antiwar activist. Chavez recently had as his guest Harry Belafonte, who called President Bush "the greatest terrorist in the world." Chavez is pushing a socialist revolution and has a close alliance with Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Regardless of your feelings about the war in Iraq, the issue here is that we have a socialist dictator vowing to bring down the government of the U.S. And he is using our money to achieve his goal!

The Venezuela government, run by dictator Chavez, is the sole owner of Citgo gas company. Sales of products at Citgo stations send money back to Chavez to help him in his vow to bring down our government. Take Action Please decide that you will not be shopping at a Citgo station. Why should U.S. citizens who love freedom be financing a dictator who has vowed to take down our government? Very important. Please forward this to your friends and family. Most of them don't know that Citgo is owned by the Venezuela government.

Whatever Ms. Dumb Ass


Hey Chickie, (I am NOT your Fucking Chickie)

Just a reminder to check messages every morning first thing. Russell with USA Film said he left a message yesterday evening as they need a new mailbox key. I checked messages before I went to lunch and his message was still on the answering service.

Please ask Calvin to get them a new mailbox key and we will not charge them for it.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager


Just forgot to erase it..he already has a key
Me


Okay just remember to erase them then unless you are saving for some reason.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

Did I NOT just say I simply forgot to erase it……
Me

How about trusting me to do my job, Bitch!


Greg Peak just called and said he has not received the service contract for the window washing. I told him you were supposed to have mailed those out last week and I would have you call him and let him know when you did mail them.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

Does it hurt to ask a d*** questions?
How about Greg called re: the contracts, he hasn’t received them yet, did you happen to mail them out yet?

I would then respond by saying: Yes, I mailed them out last Wednesday. I don’t work for the fucking postal office, so not sure where they are.

I will call him because I am professional, but you suck a**. This is why I always delete any and everything from you with NO response….
Me

There’s No End to This Woman’s Stupidity

This email is re: a new tenant moving into our building.

Are they moving in tonight?
Me


I think so, do we have a COI?

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

No, didn’t know they were moving and don’t know who’s moving them.
Me


It's the attorney that I asked you to fax the moving policies too.

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

Yes, I know the tenant.
She has all the info. Just didn’t know any details as far as when they are moving in.
Me


Ah!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

Fucking Retard !!!
Me

Ms. Dumb Ass Has Lost Her Damn Mind!

So my friend calls on occasions but she has a little habit of hanging up whenever evil answers the phone. Well, today she decided she wanted to try and dictate once again who I can and can not talk to. Mind you this chick gets calls from her dumb ass friend all of the time and her married boyfriend.

Oh and this idiot actually watches the caller id EVERY time the phone rings. Souldn't you be working? Can you say get a life…


Hey Chickie,

Whoever you are talking to right now is the person that had called and hung up on me twice. Please ask them not to call unless it is business related items.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager

I’ll get you my pretty and little friend too!

Today Ms. Dumb Ass thought she could tell my buddy the chief building engineer who he can and can not talk to.

His email to me:

She called me into the kitchen to tell me the tenants have notice me
talking to you a lot.
Well I guess they can get over it. Have a wonderful day

My Buddy

This dumb bitch is making up shit, because me and her buddy have become real cool now. I forward his email to my friend

Her response:

LOL, she is ignorant! She is the only person who thinks you guys talk too much, why would the tenants care they know you guys work together and have to handle building issues....
Well Floyd the security guard and Banner called me this weekend to see how I was and he told me that Dumb Dumb #2 came to work that Friday that I left telling him that I left her a nasty email(haha) and a bad voice message, that I was unhappy, he said he just played it off and the girl that is there with her is name Mandya and all her and Dumb Dumb #2 do is giggle. He said everytime he goes in the office they are giggling and it is very annoying ( which is suprising considering his is a very happy person), he said Dumb Dumb #2 has been trying to train the girl but it doesn't look like it is working because she has a lot of work and Dumb Dumb #2 doesn't know what she is doing. I told him oh well that is her problem.

Friend

A Former Employee: Going Out With A Bang!!

Since this is your preferred method of communication I wanted to let you know that today was my last day. I have left my door key and access card in your box. Unfortunately I can’t say it was a pleasure because it wasn’t, so I wish you well and hope that you learn how to be a leader.
NM

Our Former Employee: Shit has hit the Fan Folks!

Email Conversation:

Okay my delete button is missing from my outlook!! I still deleted everything (I'm Not stupid) I will not use that email to for nothing more than work!!!

Friend

HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN MISSING?
Me


Hell no, I use it everyday!! When I came in my computer was on.
Friend

Are you serious? So did you ask? I mean that is your space. And then you don't even care, you leave evidence that your trifling ass has be on my shit. What did they think you wouldn't be able to figure out how to delete shit.

They swear they are so fucking smart, and are dumb as shit. I'm always ten steps ahead of you... Remember that!!!!!

Me

I;m not trying to continue going through this, I let her know I have another dr's appointment do you think she responded. I don't have time for the game, I guess I'm suppose to be really stupid.

She wants me to do another acceptance letter we will see how this goes. It is for a name change.

Friend

I had a meeting with dumb dumb...she's trying to be my friend...I swear I hate her lol
Me

They are idiots
Friend

so when you speak she doesnt respond?
Me

I just got laid off
Friend

LOL, how funny!
Fuck her for real!
How are you feeling?
Me

To be honest, I feel fine, like the pressure is gone, I don't have to worry anymore
Friend

I hope your appointments goes well this week. You should just leave her high and dry...
Me

Oh I am, I'm not about to let her know! What ever comes through I'm their. I have no loyalty to her.
I just want to make sure I'm getting bullshit. NOthing worse than that.
Friend

so how is everyone else acting?
Me

They are acting the same, I don't expect them to tell me anything. Rick called me today and the call was strange because he couldn't say anything and then she was calling him on the other line. I will be here for 2 weeks or until something comes through. I always pray for opportunity so I know that I will get it.
Friend

like we discussed. I say to hell with Gaedeke. She knows she needs you and rather than be human and act like it, she tried to screw you.

Serves her ass right. You never needed her as bad as she'll need you.
Me

Why did I just walk in and she was in the engineers office talking about me, whe had the door open and so when I walked up she was like oh I was just standing here with the door open watching the room
Friend

saying what? You need to just not show up on Friday...FUCK HER
Me

I'm real close but I need my money, she was saying I was suppose to be working and where the hell am I at. But you said I was able to go on interviews, I think I might leave a lunchtime.
Friend

A Former Employee: Our Company’s second black woman. However, she didn’t last long. They tried to fuck her over at her building.

“Can’t nobody take my pride, Can’t nobody hold me down!”

Our email conversation:

I have already made up my mind to do that. First of all I have been through this shit before and as I get older I feel I do not have to take this type of shit. I am very use to dealing with crazy stuff regarding work, and I don't care because it is not my company so they can run it any way they want, but I do not put up with being treated like I'm not shit. This bitch got the game fucked up because in a minute she is going to be by herself and then what! My priority is to go to school and make sure my kids are taken care of.

Friend

And keep your focus there. She knows she needs you. But rather than admit that shit and appreciate your help. She treats you that way. Believe me it's no different here. But obviously this woman had issues deeper than the ocean.

Again this is there final stop. Their dream, I have too much going on to be worried about simpleton and the crew, LOL.

Me

LOL, for real, she continues to try and talk to me like nothing has happened and of course she hasn't said anything about us talking. So I guess I just suppose to do what she says like a good dog. I can be receptionist somewhere else and make more money doing it. I'm not tripping anymore it's her hang up and she is going to have to deal with it. I am going to respond to her the way she responds to me by email and if I don't like it I wil ignore it.

Freind


that's what I do. yet she wonders why I dont interact with her like I do the guys. Are you serious?

Me

What I don't understand is, how do you think that everything is okay. I have dealt with some very arrogant people in my life and they know when it's a problem and even if they were so called unapprochable I did it any way and after that we did have any problems and there was a mutual respect. But life goes on and all I can do is pray and make sure I keep my people close.

Friend

Valentine’s Day 2006:

This an email to an old tenant, that took on the role as my "Texas mother". She was my rock through all of evil's bullshit.

So one of our tenants came in just now with a dozen roses, Mr. J.R. Hurt. And Ms Thang happened to be upfront while he’s walking in. She takes total control of the flowers. And you know what it doesn’t even matter. But my thing is you have a “man” where are your own flowers.?

I am 100% sure he had me in mind. Because even when he was coming in she made the comment “awe he’s bringing you flowers”. So that tells me you already knew what was up. I am also sure that this exact day and time last year he didn’t bring you s****….

ME


Play Mom's repsonse:

She is such a jealous sad person! That ought to show you what she means to her "man" -- no flowers on Valentine's Day???? Now that's REAL love! She is SOOOOOO ridiculous!


Lunch date for V-day: email to friend

So I just get back from lunch and God forbid I was 15 minutes late, why because I actually had a lunch date today Valentine’s Day. Well little Ms. Hater says to me lunch is only an hour……….I am sorry you suck and NO one loves you…..

Me



LOL! What did you do? f"ck her, how was lunch?

Friend

I NEED TONER NOW!!!

Please order me a toner cartridge for my printer.

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager


What is the printer id #?

Thanks,
Me


It's a Lexmark E232. Is there another number somewhere that you need?

Dumb Ass
Property Manager


How about the BIG A** sticker on the front of the printer with the number that say express service # ?

Thanks,
ME

Emails the Preferred Method of Communication:

You’ll notice she always uses the word NEED, and always seems to give out ASSume shit rather than ask if I actually taken the time to complete a task.


What is status on Cypress picking up the phones and Neighbor's Coffee picking up the coffee maker in Suite 200 ? Has this been done? If not, why?

Thanks!

Dumb Ass
Property Manager
Dumb Ass Company, LLC.

My reponse:

Are you asking if I have called these people or are you assuming I have not? It’s very easy to misunderstand or misinterpret a person’s intentions through emails. To answer your question, Neighbors came by yesterday to pickup the coffee equipment. David w/ Cypress called yesterday afternoon to say he was coming in to pick them up. However, he didn’t. I have called Cypress and they paged him to call me today.

Thanks,
Me
Property Administrator
Dumb Ass Company, LLC
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland